Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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