how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
