i think i have two assholes
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize