On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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