i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
