Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize