would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
