so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize