Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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