Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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