So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
smell my finger.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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