I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
