There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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