marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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