Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize