I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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