great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We had to coat check the pizza.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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