were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
