I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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