I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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