going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
