Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
