i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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