I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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