We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
they call him Oral-B. enough said
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
