I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
