Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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