atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
sarcasm needs its own font
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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