return my video game
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
