One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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