I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
