I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
