if i can run in heels then i can drive
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
