Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize