Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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