I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
