There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
