Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
