Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize