i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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