Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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