so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
