: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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