dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
