You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm at about main and main street
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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