Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize