i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
