so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
