Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
