i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
