You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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