question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
