My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize