For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
