I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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