C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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