I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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