Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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