guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
