saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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