i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
