We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
