worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
