Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
