the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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