ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
