Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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