Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize