he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
