Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
