Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
