I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I can't turn off my feet"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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