Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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