You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
