got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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