Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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