My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
